Created for Love: Rediscovering the Bond That Heals the Human Heart
As I delved into the subject of infant bonding for my latest book, an extraordinary truth began to surface—one that extends far beyond childhood. We are created for peace, but not just any peace. It’s a peace that exists only in love.
From a neurological perspective, a baby’s brain operates in two distinct modes, driven by two interdependent factors: security and attachment—or, conversely, anxiety and detachment. Picture a newborn resting skin-to-skin against their mother, calm and cooing in perfect contentment. Now imagine that same baby suddenly separated—tiny arms flailing, a cry bursting forth in panic. Babies can’t find peace outside of connection. And, truthfully, neither can we.
This reality is echoed in surprising places. Researcher Johann Hari, in his study on addiction, shared an experiment involving rats. When placed in empty cages with two water bottles—one plain, one laced with heroin—the rats quickly became addicted. But when researchers created a vibrant “rat park” filled with toys, food, and other rats to play with, the story changed dramatically. The rats almost never touched the drug-laced water. One observer concluded, “Maybe it’s not addiction—it’s bonding.”
In other words, when healthy human bonds are missing, we substitute them with things—drugs, screens, possessions—that mimic the brain chemistry of love. The cure for addiction isn’t isolation or willpower; it’s relationship. We were wired for connection—to God and to one another.
And yet, loneliness is spreading. Psychologist John Cacioppo from the University of Chicago found that loneliness has doubled since the 1980s—from 20% to 40% of the population. Despite social media linking billions of people, the world has never been more disconnected. I recently shared these findings with a group of older adults, and they nodded knowingly. They remember the days when families lingered around dinner tables, when faces—not screens—reflected love and laughter.
It’s easy to fall into despair when faced with such realities. We know we need love. We crave closeness. But after too many broken relationships, many of us start to believe Thoreau was right when he said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” The peace-and-love movement of the 1960s sought connection but often ended in disappointment. Human effort alone cannot fill the chasm inside us.
But God can.
He saw our need and reached down Himself. “He reached down from heaven and took hold of me.” — Psalm 18:16. God bridged the divide by sending Jesus—to re-bond heaven and earth. Through His Word and His Spirit, He continually reaches down to reconnect with us, moment by moment.
When earthly relationships falter, divine love remains. “Every soul is as fully known to Jesus as if he were the only one for whom the Savior died… The distress of every one touches His heart… He came to draw all men unto Himself.” — The Desire of Ages, p. 480.
You don’t have to live in anxious detachment. The same God who designed your heart for love has provided Himself as its fulfillment. No matter your past, your pain, or your position, His love can hold you—calming the restless infant within. In Him, you can love and be loved again.
